you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
