His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
