Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
