i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
