im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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