Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
