It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
