She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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