If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
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