I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
