Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I touched a dick in church today
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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