Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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