Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
