Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Randomize
