omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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