Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
