Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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