Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
