apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
