there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
