The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
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I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
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Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
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