I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
