ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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