oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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