Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
