i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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