Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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