dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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