Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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