Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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