I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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