i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
