Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
