If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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