would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
