If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
