you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
23 “Girl Codes” Guys Probably Don’t Know About
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina