I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
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