i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
