Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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