i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
