My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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