i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
