I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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