So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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