Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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