so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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