she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
