Non-Jews are for practice
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
