I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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