Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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