There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
