i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Randomize
