i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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