Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
