Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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