I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
