check it out our google latitudes are spooning
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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