idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
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Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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