Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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