I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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