ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
